Insomnia...that's how I roll lately. I can't believe that I went from 119 lb at 16 to 145.5 pounds at age 18. It makes me want to shoot myself in the face..like hardcore. I'm tired of having a fat stomach and a puffy face, and feeling disgusting when I'm making out. Like I don't want to be touched anymore. Since January alone, I've gained 10 lb. I'm on anti-depressants, and they have been making me crave sugar but even when I eat healthy I'm still gaining weight due to hormonal imbalanaces. I know, it sucks right? So here I am, normal until 17,( or at least so I thought,) and now I'm diagnosed as being bi-polar, with ADD and emotional issues. Great. Fucking fantastic. 
Soo...more thinspo. I weight 145.5 right now in my pajamas. Today, or rather yesterday, I had..
9AM: 220cal Slim Fast and Lactaid
12PM: 400cal muchies at church, cheese, grapes, chips, and small punch. estimate?
2PM: 600 cal 1.5 PB sandwich, celery, dip, chips. estimate?
5PM: 290 cal McDonalds Mocha
Total: est. 1,510. =FATTYYYY. Plus about an hour ago I had 1/2 a cup of cooked noodles and some veggies from my parents dinner. I'm drinking water now...slightly hungry.
I have a docters appointment at 9:45 tommorrow morning, and she said last time (6 lb ago) if they medicine kept making me gain weight even with exercise she wanted me to try Adderal. Anyone know if it helps ADD good, and won't make me fat? It's a rough blance trying to not set off either manic or depressive stages for me..I'm always depressed as part of my disease but certain things trigger it worse.
I'm complicated.
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